Saturday, September 22, 2012

Had To Take A Breather!

Charlotte and Kay!  You two have caused me to stop working on the Flower Power Project I've got goin' on!  I have the biggest ol' grin on my face and have totally decided that I might as well try out for Old Saint Nick come Christmas the way my belly jiggles when I laugh!

Charlotte Sugar Lamb, I was born and raised right here in The GREAT State of Texas!  I was born in the city of Austin and had no idea what I was doing moving to the country 10 years ago, but I did.  Gawd he'p me!   I have dealt with every thing from finding out that you absolutely must change the sewage field on a regular basis to raising over 100 chicken that I thought I had to have to look like I was a country gent.  Move over Martha!  I have mowed these acres with an electric push lawn mower because I didn't know better and have seen more road kill than anyone should in a life time.  I have run up on snakes and put my manhood aside and screamed like a school girl seeing Justin Bieber for the very first time when one these reptilian suckers fell on my shoulders out of a tree.  I have washed and fumigated my basset hounds when they thought the little stripe on the back of the skunk was there for them to play with.  Yep, This city boy has become a country boy learning things the hard way!  :)

I honestly have seen quite a few of these tarantulas and scorpions since I've been out here.  The tarantulas have never really bothered me.  I don't bother them they don't bother me.  BUT....And I say BUT here....When you decide to toss off those HOT tennis shoes and throw on your UNIVERSITY OF TEXAS Burnt Orange and White Flip Flops or Chunclas as I call them to get comfy, and you get a stung by the tail end of a scorpion, you become just a little wary and anxious.  From being this now naturalized country gent, I have learned to keep alert when outside.  Heck inside never know what's lurking behind the toilet or underneath a load of clothes!  So to be sitting outside on the porch at midnight minding your own business and you spot movement...and you look up and see a black hairy...or as Tara said furry watermelon staring at you right above your head, I don't care who you are, Man, Woman, Boy or Girl...Your body moves like it did when you were 10 years old, leaping across lawn furniture, hurdling flower pots to get to the door of safety.  LOL!

The truth is folks...I love living in this awesome State of Texas, City of Granger and County of Williamson and wouldn't give it up for anything!  As Kay Said, God Bless Texas!

Where's the Raid Bug Spray!

See you in a bit with my ode to the Partridge Family!  LOL!

The Gentleman Crafter


  1. And I thought it might be fun to visit you... ah No Thank you... I don't like surprises! Interesting Gent you are !

  2. Cute Jim, and so true. I am a city girl, born and raised, and the worse I had seen were black widow spiders, crikets (which I dispised), and crawdades that lived in a creak that ran thru our housing area. Then we moved to what we thought was god's country. We have a fairly large home on two acres with a drop dead gorgeous view. We are in a very private pocket of Granite Hills with plenty of trees and nature which I love. But with all the wonderfulness of wild nature, comes having to also deal with the not so wonderful things such as several varieties of snakes, hungry cyotes, distructive gophers and squirrels, tarantulas that migrate thru, scorpions and bobcats,an occasional moutain lion, skunks, and many different insects. One of the ugliest is the Jerusalm Criket (now those are the ugliest things). But, like you I love our home and just have learned that the good out weighs the bad. I have a great hubby that I can scream for and he deals with my crisis of the moment. He also keeps me well stocked with Raid for those occasional times when he is not there to rescue me. Thank goodness.

  3. Wow...Scorpions...It is like Wild Kingdom out there. None of those here in NYC.

  4. You give new meaning to your name - JimBUG!! I had to pick myself up off the floor from laughing so hard as I read this. I still say I would rather face a good ol' northwest Grizzly Bear than the wild life you have.... IN.... YOUR.... HOUSE!!! What's next.... bats?.... locusts??? Holy smokerdoodles! You don't have to decorate for Halloween.... the critters do it for you! LOL!!


  5. HAHAHAHA...THAT WAS JUST TOO FUNNY!!!!!! I haven't laughed this hard in a while....since another of your posts no doubt!!!!! As a transplanted city girl myself I totally understand....i called a park ranger one time to report a snake on my house...i swear it was about as big around as a watermelon and as long as a football would i exagerate????? i don't think so.....
    ok so it was a small Texas rat snake which i was told were good snakes....uh SOMEWHERE ELSE maybe, but not at MY house.....Ain't country life great!!!!! Critters, Creely crawlies, great summer weather(some days you can actually see the heat!!) Texas is grand.....but then spring comes with all the wildflowers and it is a magical place!!!!I'll say it again...God Bless Texas!

    Thanks for a good laugh, Jim!

  6. Needed a good laugh and I got it. I have been dueling with wasps in the house the last couple of weeks, so I know the feeling. Fight the good fight and keep that Raid handy!

  7. I am in Texas also but just outside the city of Houston. Haven't seen any large furry things or scorpions here but always on the lookout. Since you are in the country you must spray for these type of critters. All the retreats around here use a spray and so far, no unexpected surprises.

    You are one amazing, talented guy, Mr. Jim. I love all your projects. The bat oval treat box was so clever and my grandson just loves it. Holds a lot of treats also. Keep em' coming, and a big thank you for sharing what you love......

  8. Jim, I have not stopped laughing, you are a great story teller. I know what you mean about the tarantulas and scorpions. I live in SE Oklahoma and deal with those same critters. I was in my kitchen cooking a couple of days ago and caught some movement out of the corner of my eye, looked down and saw I had been dancing with a scorpion, eek, ugh. barefoot no less. My heart pounding grabbed my trusty flip flop and smooshed that critter. I don't know how I kept from being stung, it was right by my foot. I hate those things. Winter can't come soon enough. I can't believe I just said that I hate winter. Anyway, hope you don't get stung again. Hugs Cyndie

  9. You paint such a picture of country life that I can almost see you there! Glad you are so happy with your lot.

    Lynn Hardy

  10. ohmygosh..ohmygosh..ohmygosh..ohmygosh..ohmygosh..ohmygosh..ohmygosh..ohmygosh..ohmygosh..ohmygosh...............hope your toe is ok.........big....hairy.......(shiver)

  11. we recently had a fist size tarantula IN our house in an upstairs bedroom. Sorry to say, my son had already killed the thing before I got up there to see what the ruckus was about. I have always told him, the only kind of spider I like is a DEAD one. Sorry if you are a spider lover.

    Thanks for the visual story Jim.


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